Loving Kindness

This afternoon I listened to, and participated in, the Loving Kindness track from the Consciousness and Healing CD.

I found the exercises to be a little abstract breathing in trouble from loved ones, close circles and the world at large (including people that I may consider an enemy, more about that in a minute). The breath out was to be breathing out loving kindness to those people whose trouble you just took into your heart. It was abstract and difficult to understand what exactly I was being instructed to do.

This was the second time I attempted this exercise formally. The first time was when I read it in the book last Wednesday. Throughout the week I have been thinking of loved ones, my children all grown up, and the struggles they are having currently in their lives. It was informal as in I did not get into meditation pose but as I had a few minutes here or a few minutes there I breathed in their trouble and breathed out health and well being-but what exactly does that mean? The exercises did not go as well as I had hoped and I am not sure what the point of 'breathing in your loved ones troubles' mean let alone my circle and then the world at large, including people you would consider enemies.

Enemies. I don't have any, right? There is one person I thought of- one person that has been on my mind a lot, a person I am tired of renting head space to. So, I considered the loving kindness exercises and immediately excluded her name from the list. Then I reconsidered, what if I could deal with her in a loving kindness type of way, would I then be able to deal with the turmoil she caused completely? I am stuck, I start piecing together what has been ripped apart and then wham! Her name, an event involving her, something smacks me up side the head and I am slipping back into angry Stacy. I don't want to be angry Stacy anymore! So, I attempted the exercises and I named her and I actually thought kind things for her, but....nothing.

I think the exercise is too abstract for me. Maybe I just don't understand loving kindness. I wouldn't be able to explain the exercise to others so I am not sure I would recommend it. I am not finished exploring it, though. Twice a day seems a bit much but I think I will see what I can work out in an attempt to understand.

"Mental training can transform the mind by reducing disturbing emotions that cause anger, hatred, fear, worry, confusion, and doubt while enhancing positive emotions such as patience, loving kindness, openness, acceptance, and happiness" (Dacher, 2006, p.63). Mental training leads to a better understanding of and realization of the potential for integral health, to be healthy body, mind, and spirit. Training the mind to be focused, to listen, to be calm, to be quiet, and knowing and understanding reactions will lead to health. Mental training is a process, it takes dedication, time, and practice as do all things worthy of pursuit.

I think that just because I didn't get it the first few times doesn't mean it isn't worth the effort. Loving kindness is a quality that is worth seeking and it makes sense that what is in me is what comes out of me and if I can replace the ugliness with loving kindness, or even the possibility that I can replace it makes it worth the effort, worth the time slot in my date book.

Dacher, E. (2006). Integral Health. The path to human flourishing. Laguna Beach, CA. Basic Health Publications.

Peace and Grace to all who took the time to read my blog today-
Stacy